Heather King -

My Cup Runneth Over

Fri, 14 May 2010 00:00:00 GMT

So the title of this blog is how I felt about a week and two days ago exactly. I thought last Wednesday night, "my cup runneth over, I should write a blog about that." And I would have sooner except for the fact that Nicaragua swallowed the camera cord to load my pics, and I couldn't possibly write about my cup running over without the shot of the Kayes and me at La Gran Francia.

To celebrate the closing of this particular chapter in our lives, the Kayes took me out to dinner and we discussed all the ways we've seen each other grow over the past three years. (Remember I lived with them in 2007 for three months...) It was a bittersweet moment for me that I will always treasure, but the best part was when Sarah presented me with the first-ever paper-beaded necklace as a gift. It was significant not only because of the involvement I've had with her in the jicaro and bead projects, but because she made it especially for me! I could have cried. And I did very much so in the couple of days that followed.

The best picture I have of the Kayes: Sarah and Willa show their teeth.

As if my moments with the Kayes weren't sweet enough, I returned to El Puente where Young Life's Bible Study was just ending and they presented me with a wooden plaque with all of the leaders' names on it. I'm not sure what I'll do with that. Someone suggested serving cheese on it. Whatever the case though, I will always look at it with warmness in my heart!

Young Life girls presenting me with a plaque of the leaders' names.

The night after that was my last. I took the redeye, so I was able to have a final dinner with the Novas team (who left a few days after I did) and have many tearful goodbyes right before I left for the airport. It was completely surreal. (And yet now so real as I am sitting here at my parents' house looking at the mess I have to pack up in order to leave for Israel on SUNDAY.)

The Kayes plus Baker and Seth dropped me off of the airport. They all stood in the check-in line with me; it was like the freakin' Brady Bunch...but I felt oh so blessed to have them there.

Charles was so distraught with my leaving I had to wheel him to security.

Haha, just kidding, but he was still a bit distraught. :)

The final goodbye before going through security. :(

So here I am. At the end and the beginning. The end of two incredible years of growth, testing, and building relationships with people I will always love. The beginning of the unknown, the new and exciting adventures to come. Thank you for being a part of this adventure with me. I am blessed beyond measure to have had so many people behind me praying and supporting me financially. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!

I don't plan on keeping up this blog, but I do want to keep updating you all on my life, so I am starting a new blog at http://www.heathspeaks.blogspot.com I have a small obsession with changing the background on it. I will try to let it be though, especially once I know people are reading it. :)

Love you all!

Heather

Just Another Morning...

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT

In the kitchen yesterday morning a cockroach in the sink startled me. When Trevor tried to take it out by the antenna to dispose of it, he "accidentally" lost his grip and the roach jumped on my hand. My natural reaction was a blood-curdling scream.

Jessica sauted some onions and potatoes, and we sat around the table drinking coffee, wondering why Amber's tasted like a skunk.

We talked about those pesky pigeons that used to always poop on the table during meals and how some friends of ours who will remain nameless once tried to beat them to death in the rafters with a duster.

I said I would miss them (not the pigeons but the Novas team) because it's this kind of thing that I have come to love about living at El Puente - sitting together and laughing at our stories, sharing a common disdain for the grosser sides of El Puente but being able to have a sense of humor about it, starting off our morning bumping into one another in the kitchen as we wait for water to trickle out of the faucet so we can make coffee.

me and the Novas chicas

For the past four months these guys have been more to me than participants on an AIM trip. They've been roommates, friends, and encouragers. They've challenged me in the way they seek to serve and pour themselves out in the community of Granada and within their own as well.

I guess this is the kind of thing that starts happening with me when I only have two and a half weeks left - the nostalgia starts kicking in and I realize what a gift the people around me are and how much I will miss them when we go our separate ways. I'd rather it be that way than counting down the days though. If I do count them down, its only because I'm sorry to see them go by.

So here we go...17 days left of listening to each other sing in the shower, riding bikes Nica-style and sweating a liter of water in the process, talking quite openly about virtually all bodily functions, eating together, laughing together, mourning together, growing together.

I'm up for a rude awakening in a couple of weeks as I bounce back to the States and then to Israel. I'm excited, nervous and half ready for a new door to open, but wanting to soak in all I can here at the same time - even if that involves roaches in the sink for the time being. Bring it!

We made it to the RACE!

Sun, 11 Apr 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Last Saturday we held our Second Annual 5K Fun Run for Vida Joven. It seems like the past two and a half months have been building to this point, and it finally culminated to a successful event!

Over two hundred kids and adults participated in the race, and a few dozen Vida Joven volunteers from Granada, Managua and Matagalpa helped make everything run as smooth as Nicaly possible. The first, second and third place runners in each category were rewarded the cutest hand-made medallions ever, and as a grand prize our friend Baker's bike rental shop, Bicimaximo, donated a Bici bike.

On Friday, we held a rally in the park to promote the race and help generate funds for Vida Joven through food sales and donations. Little did we know a huge band stage would be set up right next to our location, and when we arrived to set-up, the music was absolutely blaring. Maybe it helped us draw a crowd though because by the time the band finished playing, it seemed like a few hundred people were gathered around to watch the Vida Joven kids put on club. It was fantastic!

Despite bumps in the road (maybe literally and figuratively both) as we gringos were constantly reminded of the Nica twilight zone that tends to happen around here, a good time was had by all. I'm so thankful for how smooth it went in comparison to last year. Thank you for all your prayers!

Rally in the park on Friday night

2.5K runners ready to start!

2nd Annual 5K FUN RUN for Vida Joven!

Sat, 20 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

We started Vida Joven (Young Life) in Granada almost two years ago. This program is drawing kids from all over Granada and giving them the opportunity to choose life instead of drugs and alcohol and other addictions that are prevalent here. We've had a lot of success making a difference in kids' lives by building relationships with them and showing them that there is more to life than what they see around them, and we want to be able to do this with kids in other parts of town as well.

Last year we raised about $4000 through the 5K Fun Run, and this year we hope to raise double that amount so that we can bring Vida Joven to another barrio and invest in even more lives.

Help us keep Vida Joven alive and thriving in Granada! If you'd like to donate, we suggest the

following sponsorship levels:

Single Sponsorship: $5
Triple Sponsorship: $15
Quintuplets: $25

Ten Youngsters: $50 (any amount is welcome)

Checks may be mailed to:

Adventures in Missions
6000 Wellspring Trail
Gainesville, GA 30506

Attention: 2009 Fun Run for Vida Joven

Nicaragua Kids Camp Fun Run (don't forget this!)

Or, sponsorships may be made online at:
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace
Once you are on the web page, simply:
1. In the drop down menu select "Support a World Race Project"
2. In the Project box that appears, type in: Nicaragua Kids Camp Fun Run

3. Follow the simple donation process.

Its easy!

All funds collected will go directly to the Granada Vida Joven Club. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Thanks for your help.

Club and Camp

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Here are some recent pictures from Vida Joven club and camp. We took 11 kids plus 3 Novas participants to camp last weekend. It was a blast! It was my ninth and last visit before I leave Nicaragua in May. I couldn't have hoped for a better experience, and it was really meaningful spending that time with girls I've been getting to know over the course of a couple of years.

Vida Joven c l u b

some gal leaders before club

Jimmy and Jairo breakin it down as usual

Pita and Carol waiting for the fun to start

Vida Joven c a m p

Novas guys getting ready for cooler weather

Sometimes there are particularly bad smells in Niaragua.

Granada gals about to enter the Labyrinth

Granadinos represent!

Boys being boys...

...and girls being girls!

Scrumptious meals provided by the rockstars on work crew!

Stay tuned for information on our SECOND ANNUAL 5K FUN RUN to raise money for Vida Joven! This program has made such a difference in kids lives here in Granada, and we want to keep it afloat! Our goal is to open a new club on the other side of town, and we're hoping the money generated from this race will help jumpstart that effort.

Bracelet Making

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Another great idea from the mind of Sarah Kaye: The art of bracelet making as a trade.

We are beginning training sessions at El Puente and will equip people to make the bracelets in their own homes as a way of earning some income. Profits made from selling the bracelets will be donated to Vida Joven.

Here are a few pictures of this project and if your eye is piqued for more, there are a couple of links to my photo albums at the bottom.

http://heatherelibeth.jalbum.net/Bracelet-Making-at-El-Puente/

http://heatherelibeth.jalbum.net/Little-Kitty/

Follow You Some More

Mon, 8 Feb 2010 00:00:00 GMT

So Sarah Kaye asked me this week if I had written any new songs lately. I said no. They seem to come in waves, I'm not really sure why. I was reading some verses in Luke though, specifically about the prodigal son, and I had some instant inspiration for a new tune. In my mind it was kind of a blend between being welcomed home by the Father and receiving the ring, the robe, and the shoes while at the same time being romanced by the one who knows me better than I know my self. Hmm...the Christian story seems a little incestuous at times doesn't it? Yet the image of the Father's love and the image of a Husband's love are just mere glimpses into the depth of what his affections are for us, his relentless pursuit of us and his constant faithfulness to us.

Anyway, below is a video of a few of us at El Puente singing the new song, "Follow You Some More." The improptu version was so much better, and funnier, but we still decided to reenact our musical antics for your viewing pleasure.

Follow You Some More

Clothe me with a robe of splendor / Place your ring on my finger / So all can see that I belong to you / My heart is at your door / Bring me to your house / Sweep me up and gently set me down / Before a meal like I have never known / Your love is now my home / Walk with me a while / Lead me down the paths I never found / When I was on my own / Now I'm yours / I'll follow you some more / And when I find I'm wandering away / I will look down remember how you placed upon my feet / Shoes that I may walk right back to you / And I'll follow you some more....

Life Lately

Sun, 24 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Well I've been back in Granada since January 4th, and it's just been a roller coaster ride since then - in a good way, but definitely constant movement. The Novas Project Team is in full swing, and I've had a lot of fun getting to know the seven of them. They are all involved in different ministries here; so on that level my life mainly intersects those of the team who are involved with Young life. In general, this is how my time is spent right now: being available for the girls on the Novas team, spending one-on-one time with them, etc. etc., leading Young Life, and a plethora of other activities essentially related to that. Basically all things relational...

Speaking of Young Life, the area director and his wife (Yener and Oneyda) just had a baby. When I came back after Christmas he asked me if I would take charge of everything for a couple of weeks while he and Oneyda got used to being parents. I said yes, knowing it was an opportunity for me to step up for a short while and serve not only the kids I know in Young Life, but especially Yener and Oneyda. By the way, you can pray for Oneyda. The wound from her cesarean got infected, and she's been in the hospital for a week. She's doing better but is still on the road to recovery.

Last week was our first week of Young Life stuff after a month-long break for the holidays. While teaching John 17 in the Bible Study on Wednesday was fine (oh how I admire the one who can keep a teenager's attention), club on Thursday was awesome. Not necessarily at first glance because the mp3 player froze, we were scrambling at the last minute to finish overlooked details, and a good deal of the games just flopped. Nevertheless, kids laughed and enjoyed themselves. And when I stood up to give the talk I was excited, not terrified, the kids were dead silent at just the moments when you would hope they'd be, and when they looked me in the eye it felt like I was actually talking to them, not at them. For me it felt like the best part of club in the sense that it went exactly the way you'd want it to go. I never thought I'd see the day when standing in front of all those guys would be a joy and not a dread. That's gotta be some sort of a miracle.

In other news, the Lord is deepening friendships in my life here, both with gringos and Nicas alike, and it's been a blessing to have people around like my friend Bekah (on AIM staff here with her husband Frank). It's the Lord's mercy to have another gal who I can bare my heart and soul to. There is another missionary family (the Todds) who I am getting to know as well. They have two young girls, and I'm actually on call in the next week or so to take care of them when Rachael gives birth to her third! I'm at their house this moment, and I prayed with their three year-old before she went to sleep. She said, "thank you for Jesus, and my Heather and my mommy and daddy." That is just so sweet.

Well that is basically where I am at this moment. Lots of Young Life, lots of walking out life with the Novas team, some translating at conferences/singing at worship services here and there. You know, normal life as a missionary. It's all good. Yet the result is at 8:33 on a Sunday night I am desperately tired. Last week was a marathon week; I think this one will be a lighter load. I'm just thankful for all the opportunities to finish out this race strong! Thanks for praying with me to do that well and that I'd only carry the burdens I need to carry. There's more I wish I could say, but I've exhausted my space. The Lord is doing so much it's ridiculous and I've only just spelled out my time slots. Oh well. More for next time. Besitos, h

Transition

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Real Life Team Debrief: Kimonos Included

The month of December seems to be filled with moving parts. The three-month long Real Life trip I was leading ended on December 8th, and after a three-day leader debrief in Stone Mountain, I am back in Granada for another short spurt. Actually, I leave tomorrow for Young Life camp for five days. I'll have a role there as 'jefa de consejeria' (that literally translates to 'boss of counselors'), so I'll essentially be stepping into new territory as I focus primarily on the female leaders as opposed to the Young Life kids. I hope it will be refreshing to step back into the Young Life sector since I took such a giant step away from it during the Real Life trip.

After I return from Young Life camp I will only be in Granada for one day before going home for Christmas on the 21st. I'm excited about spending a couple of weeks with my family and friends in Georgia, and especially for my sister Erin's wedding which will be during that time as well.

When I return to Granada in January, I'll have the privilege of spending the next four months or so with a new team through AIM called the Novas Project. This group of seven (with one more team member on the way) is already settled at El Puente and jumping into ministry. Seth Barnes Jr. has been guiding this team as they get to know the lay of the land, and I'll jump on the bandwagon along with them after Christmas.

I cannot yet believe it, but it seems I'm entering the home stretch of my time here in Granada. January to May...it's like spring semester of senior year, except I hope my willingness to dig into things here is a hundred fold what it was as a senior. El Puente has undergone grand changes in the past few months with some staff leaving and new members entering the scene, and it's all been for good. I feel as if we're sitting on the cusp of momentous progress in ministry and relationships, and I want to be as much a part of it as I can before I leave.

For me transition can be at times awkward, emotional, confusing, frustrating and yet refreshing. In the blur of the past few weeks I've felt all of the above and will probably continue to oscillate between those things as I keep processing the Real Life trip while moving forward at the same time. I have so much to learn and so much to grow in. Realizing that is easy. Being willing to grow up out of it is another story entirely.

And so that is where I'm left right now: reflecting, learning, transitioning. I have so much to look forward to and yet don't want to miss the present moment. Nor do I want to so quickly walk ahead that I lose sight of the tougher parts of the last few months - the places I know the Lord has been stretching me and I need to grow in. Hopefully as I find the balance between those two things will I see the true growth the Lord is doing in me and be better prepared to handle what lies just ahead!

Hearing from the Lord - Part 2

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Last week when I got sick and my friend "Beloved" prayed for me, she told me she sensed there was an oppressive spirit involved. My stomach was bothering me a lot, and as she prayed for me she sensed the pain I felt as well.

She continued praying for me that night, and the following day she told me of a vision that had come to her mind. In the vision, she saw me walking down the road towards El Puente, and there was a dark spirit on either side of me. They were anchored to my stomach by a stone, and she sensed that I had a choice whether or not the stone was there. As long as the stone was there, the spirits were allowed to be there. (Maybe some of you are thinking "what is all this crazy talk?" That's fine. It is pretty darn crazy).

Naturally I wanted to know what the stone could be. I thought about it for a couple of hours, and my friend and I identified different possibilities. What I came up with seemed like a lot of stones though, especially things rooted and tied to my childhood. We named and prayed through a number of different things that actually seemed related at some core root. Much of it seemed generational in nature, and as we prayed we broke the binds of these behaviors and attitudes passed down through the generations.

That night I got sick again. I remembered what my friend said about the oppressive spirit, but I also remembered the verse in Zephaniah that said the Lord would deal with all who oppressed me. I asked him to deal with my oppressors.

At 3:30 am, a verse came to my mind - Jeremiah 3:16. I didn't want to open my Bible. I figured I just made up the reference in my head and didn't want to bother seeing what it said. When I gave in and read it, the Lord began revealing things right and left. I read through the passage, and the scripture talked about "shameful gods" consuming the Israelites and the Lord pleading with his chosen people to return to him. I realized that I needed to take responsibility for the idols in my family, the things that we have held more dear to us than the Lord. He was asking me to repent of the wrongdoing in my family line because it has become my own personal wrongdoing against him.

Next, Joshua 3:16 came to mind. I wasn't going to read it. I figured I only thought of if because I read Jeremiah 3:16. Maybe I did, but I think the Lord still used it. (Keep in mind I've been running back and forth to the toilet at this point). When I came back to bed and decided to read the verse, I found it actually starts in the middle of a sentence. It says, "the water from upstream stopped flowing." I took that literally. Oh really Lord? Are you being clever? Well he must have been, because it did. I haven't been sick since that day.

That was just the beginning though. The passage talked about Israel crossing over the Jordon into the promised land after being in the desert forty years. Once they had crossed the river, they circumcised themselves, reinstating the covenant they had with the Lord their God. They also celebrated the Passover for the first time in forty years, remembering how the Lord had rescued them from Egypt. It was what the Lord said to them there that was the kicker for me. The Israelites named that spot Gilgal. Why? Because it sounds like the Hebrew word for "roll," and it was here that the Lord said he had "rolled away the reproach of Egypt" from them (Josh. 5:10).

The Lord rolled away the shame of their past. The bondage of slavery no longer had a grip on them, and as they turned to him to be fully his, he permanently lifted the burden of their old identity from their backs.

So many dots were being connected. It seemed as if the Lord was saying "there's a stone in your life, Heather, that has covered you with shame. But come to me, let me make you mine, and I will roll it away. I have rolled it away." He has rolled away the shame of my past and made me fully his.

He told me through the scripture I read that night that I belong to him, that he wants me to give myself fully to him, and that he will do (has done) the hard stuff. He rolls away the stone, takes away the shame and carries me to good pasture. All we ever have to do is turn to him, and he will take care of us always.

Hearing from the Lord - Part 1

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 00:00:00 GMT

The Lord has been up to a lot this week. So much I don't know if I can fit it into one blog. So much that I don't think a blog can even do it justice. I'll try.

I had a moment a few weeks ago when I broke down because I realized I was jealous for the Lord's love. I had heard a moving story from a friend about everything the Lord has brought her through and revealed to her, and I wanted that. I wanted to experience him in that way, too. The Lord had revealed to her a new name, the name "beloved," and she knew with all her heart that this was her new identity. I know we are all the object of his deep love, but I wanted more. I wanted the intimacy that she seemed to have. Oh how he wants that with me as well.

So last week I was walking down the street singing to myself, "you give me love, love, love, love, crazy love" (I don't care about looking like a crazy person.) All of a sudden I looked down and there on the sidewalk in front of me were two freshly cut gerber daisies (well that's what they looked like to me). I love gerber daisies. It doesn't even matter how they got there. They were standing in my path at such the opportune moment - when I was singing about his love.

Around that time a friend gives me a verse (Zephaniah 3:17) and I read through it until the end of the chapter. A couple of things stuck out to me, and I wrote them down in my journal. The first was the statement, "I will deal with all who oppressed you." How powerful is that? The second sounded so romantic to me. The Lord says, "At that time I will gather you. At that time I will bring you home. I will give you honor and praise among all the peoples of the earth when I restore your fortunes before your very eyes." I was enamored by that promise and wrote it down.

Fast forward a little more to this week. After recently going through a bought of intestinal issues and amoebas, I got sick again. My friend "beloved" prayed over me, and the next day she said the Lord had revealed a lot of things to her. I can't go into all of it, but she said a few very important things. Firstly, the Lord gave her this phrase for me, "you are beloved also." (I had expressed to the Lord my desire for him to name me, too) Oh Lord. The things you do.

She also gave me Jeremiah 29:11-14. I read it later on, and it completely lined up with the Zephaniah passage. In both passages the Lord says he will "gather you" "bring you" and "restore your fortunes (or turn back your captivity in the KJV). Both of those passages were given to me at two separate times by two separate people. The Lord is speaking here! I realize he is saying "this is important Heather. PAY attention!"

These days I am just soaking in this stuff and the magnitude of what he is saying to me. There is more to this story, so I'll just have to do a "part two" to this story. I can't wait to share more of what the Lord has been speaking to me!

Coffeeshop Debut

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I love to sing. If you don't know that about me, I guess you don't know me very well. I started playing the guitar in college so I could be like all those really cool girls who sit in coffee shops and entertain their friends with songs about stupid boys and pet fish. I guess I wanted to be a Phoebe of sorts. Ever since college, anytime I hear a girl play solo I get this longing inside that makes me wish I could be in her shoes. Is that the inklings of passion? I've always had a hard time figuring out what to say when people ask me what mine is.

Singing in a concernt at Tres Mundos because a relentless man convinced me to

Me and Osiris, the relentless man, before the show

The Lord has been stretching me in this area (the area of performing in front of people) for a while, but until about a week ago I had yet to step out and sing my own songs in public. There's a little restaurant in town called Imagine, and the girls on my team had been nudging me to ask about playing there some night. Actually, Ruth's comment to me was "You could totally do coffeeshops." That amuses me.

So I happened to be at Imagine recently and took the opportunity to ask the owner about playing there. He listened to one of my songs and said "well how about tomorrow?" I said "okay" and went home to freak out.

The next day I struggled with some fear but prayed it through on my own and with some friends. I even asked the Lord to take the cup from me and when a huge storm hit and the power went out, I thought for sure that I had a way out. The outage was short-lived though, and I made it over to

Imagine in the torrential downpour to await my "coffeeshop" debut.

Waiting to play at Imagine - passing time with a camera

I sat in a backroom for a while playing through some songs and trying to keep myself from getting too nervous. I mean it's just a little restaurant for goodness sake, but even still, anxiety can creep in to any crack. I told the Lord it was his night, to make me less and him more, and to be glorified.

I think he pretty much was. Why? Because I was enjoying myself doing what he created me to do. I got to share my creativity with my friends and those other souls (bless their hearts) who sat and listened while they ate their dinner. I got to share my heart, share Jesus, and have fun all at the same time.

Not saying I'll be jumping up to do this kind of thing all the time, but the thrill of pushing yourself to do something out of your comfort zone is kind of a weird exhilaration. It's what keeps life exciting and helps you to grow. So just one more thing off the list, you know? I'm officially a Phoebe, of sorts. I even have a fan club. Love you my deucelets!

Real Life in Nicaragua

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 00:00:00 GMT

If you asked me a month ago what I would be doing right now, I probably would have said something like, "oh you know, just the same old same old. Vida Joven, jicaro, translating." I didn't have the slightest inclination that I would be leading a Real Life Team for three months here in Granada. But here I am, bunking out with four awesome gals at El Puente and walking with them through the experience of living in Nicaragua for twelve weeks.

I got the phone call from AIM about one week before the trip was to commence that they were in need of a leader for the team, and I knew immediately that I wanted the responsibility. For over a year I've watched teams come and go, always trying to figure out exactly how I fit into the mix. I've rarely felt on the inside' of the groups, and I was ready to go through the entire process, not just as a translator, but as someone the team could look to as a leader. So the day after my birthday I headed up to Georgia for eleven days of training and returned to Nicaragua on September 12th along with Ruth, Kayla, Annie and Jessalyn.

In Georgia, we trained alongside three other teams heading to India, Swaziland and Kenya, and it was obvious from the outset that team Nica' was a unique group. Not only were we the smallest team, but because of my position here in Nicaragua I was automatically acting as host, translator, and leader all at once. The first week I felt incredibly stressed out because I realized I was going to have to balance the girls with the relationships I already have here, but I think I've been able to surrender that concern to the Lord, and I am free to do both within boundaries.

I've decided to pull back on my involvement with Vida Joven during the next couple of months, although I'm still planning on going to camp in December before I come home for Christmas. For now, my main priority is being available for the girls on the RL team, and it's been a joy for me to do that. There is an intimacy about being such a small group that allows us to get to know each other really well, and I hope that in the upcoming weeks that we learn how to function as different parts of the same body as we grow and are challenged together.

Thanks for your prayers over this team! You can check out their blogs as well:

http://09ni0908rl13.myadventures.org/?category=Team%20Members%20Bio%20%20Pics

the jcaro hype

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Meet Sarah Kaye's baby. No, not the sweet looking Nicaraguan girl, but rather what she's holding. It's a jcaro fruit in the process of becoming a stylish bracelet.

Jcaro is a green fruit that grows on the trunk and limbs of some of the trees inhabiting the back yard of El Puente. Although grazing animals are known to feed on fallen, rotting jcaro, we've yet to invest in a cow, so we're harnessing this natural resource in a different way.

The vision for the jcaro creations we've been working on was born in Sarah's mind, and it's been her savvy business smarts and sheer creativity that have allowed such a brilliant idea to progress; I'm just along for the ride. However, Sarah decided to leave the country for a month, so here I am. The jcaro understudy finally finding her time to shine.

Thursdays at El Puente are devoted to the jcaro project, and we work with teenagers in the community to complete the products. The kids personally receive a portion of the sales, as does Vida Joven, so the result is a win-win situation. The kids are motivated to work because they get a piece of the pie, and Vida Joven, the program they themselves attend throughout the week, benefits as well.

It was only three months ago that I began learning the basics of the bracelet-making process from Sarah, and I remember how hesitant I was to use the dremel; that tiny blade intimidated me so much. I cut half the gourd, but I wanted her to finish the rest. She said no. (In case you didn't know, when Sarah speaks, people move.) So I finished the job, and thus began the closest thing to an apprenticeship I've ever experienced.

Since Sarah's been gone, the Vida Joven kids and I have been working hard, and we recently sold our entire stock of bracelets to a team that just left. We're also working on Christmas ornaments, candles and tea caddies as Sarah calls them (I call them boxes or little buckets with or without lids. Less professional, but I like the word bucket.) Earring designs are coming along as well.

It seems that new doors are opening as far as sales go, and we are soon going to have to find ways to up production, a very good problem to have! I'm already finding myself spending hours in the "office" (okay, for us it's an office) working on this craft in order to make the most of the opportunity to sell to the gringos who are here. Good thing our jcaro trees produce fruit year-round!

Highlight of the Year

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 00:00:00 GMT

About a year ago we hosted our first medical clinic at El Puente. I will never forget it because that week my life took a turn I had been avoiding for a long time, and those wonderful people from Charlottesville, VA helped walk me through it. I was so excited for the team to return this year, and it turned out to be one of the highlights of my time here thus far.

We held a four-day medical and optometry clinic for reading glasses, and my role was to translate for patients as they went through triage, spoke with the doctor, received their medicine, and conversed with health educators about good health habits.

For me, the week was hardly about pouring myself out, but rather being poured into by my friends from Virginia. Some of my supporters happened to be on the team, and I had opportunities to sit down and have plenty of heart-to-heart conversations with them. I was constantly surrounded by people who love the Lord deeply and who were genuinely interested in how I was doing on all different levels of life. I cannot say how much of a blessing it was to share a week with these people!

Along with the adults on the medical side of the trip was Trinity Presbyterian's youth group, and I had quality time with those guys as well. That week I stayed at El Puente with them since Geralyn, Santhi and I had already moved out of our house. (Now I'm settled in my new place and loving it.)

Unlike the stress and sorrow of last year's trip, I felt so fully alive this year and had such a good experience, especially because I had the privilege of translating for some of my dearest Nicaraguan friends.

The official two-year mark of my commitment here is May 17th of next year, but I am already planning on staying through July for the principal reason of being a part of this annual medical clinic.

Thanks to all of you who participated in this trip! I miss you!

He's getting a hold of them

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

We've been having a Vida Joven Bible study every Wednesday night at El Puente since last September. The numbers have grown to about 20-30 regulars every week, and we're currently studying the book of John.

Romy, an avid server in VJ, and I had a vision to do something a little different one week. Instead of the regular Bible Study, we wanted a night of pure worship and prayer, giving the kids a chance to come and be still in the presence of the Lord in a way they might not usually get to do.

Even though we talked and prayed about it for a couple of weeks, we weren't quite sure how it would go. We organized everything we could: cleaning the floor, picking out music, setting up the room. We were mainly hoping and praying that the Spirit would use this time to get to kids. That was really the whole point of it all.

On Wednesday, the room looked great. The wall sconces offered just the right touch of illumination. We had one lonely candle burning because the rest had been blown out by the fans. Carlos was ready to lead worship. The kids filed in, and we began to sing the usual songs. It was going fine.

But fine just wasn't good enough, and after singing "El Espiritu de Dios esta en este lugar" for the hundredth time in my life it dawned upon me, "Oh no. Is this boring? Are these kids just waiting for it to be over so they can get the heck out of here?"

The song ended and we opened up a time for prayer telling kids that they could get on the floor, get on their knees, or grab a leader if need be. A few minutes into watching them sit frozen in their seats not knowing what to do I thought, "This night cannot end this way. The Spirit has to move here."

I stood up and spoke frankly with them. I said I realized they might be thinking about what they would do later, but there was brokenness in the room that needed to be addressed. I pleaded with them through tears to give the Lord the opportunity to address it. For just half an hour to let him minister to them. To come up and ask for prayer if they needed prayer. To let the Lord move in their lives.

So we waited. And not long after, people began coming to the leaders asking for prayer. Young men broke down as they finally let their hearts open up.

A former gang leader who started coming to VJ as a heckling bystander was on his knees weeping. He eventually walked across the room, grabbed another guy and just held him as they both cried. I don't know their stories. I don't know what they've seen. But they let themselves be vulnerable enough to be touched by the Spirit. I'll never forget that sight.

Something I thought about on Wednesday is that you can't contrive the Spirit of the Living God. No matter how many songs we sing or how cool the lighting is, if the Spirit doesn't show up, the whole thing is empty. But I don't think it was empty on Wednesday at all. Afterwards, I spoke with a person who told me that a kid actually walked to the street during worship and started telling people, "Dude, you have to go in there. It's different."

Different is right, and so much more. I want kids to get that. To see that our God is not boring. He's wild, and he wants their hearts. It looks like he's getting a hold of them, too.

At Home in Granada

Thu, 28 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

So what's new in Granada? For starters, our FYM team of 8 months is long gone, and now we're preparing ourselves for the summer flow of interns, teams and trips. It's been a surprisingly smooth transition for me (as one who doesn't always welcome transition), and I gotta tell you, it must be a miracle because from the bottom of my heart there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

I suppose the scales finally fell from my eyes because I have found myself walking through the city wide-eyed at the beauty of this place. Maybe it's because the beauty isn't the first thing you notice here. Or because you have to choose to see it buried behind the filth and hopelessness. But now I appreciate things about
Granada that I never did before. I love the vividness of

color in this city - that every structure radiates a

Finding the beauty during a two- boldness that makes you feel as if you're walking
day power outage through a rainbow. The rainy season has begun, and the

lightning is enough to make your jaw drop. It's this kind

of thing that keeps me going sometimes.

I feel that the Lord is wooing me through this beauty. He's getting into my heart. Sometimes I walk down the street thinking "I am enamored with you. Absolutely enamored." This is our God we're talking about! He's wild. Don't try to put him on a chain. Yet I feel like he's after me, opening my eyes to the spectacular display of his sheer power and might. Why would I ever think anything is better than being in relationship with him? Nothing is. It's all so fleeting and fading. Not him.

Right now I'm having to practice some patience. I'm in the process of looking for a place to live since Ger and Santhi are moving in July. Also, the status of my support is up in the air, and the temptation to worry about that and how it affects my future here in Nicaragua is certainly knocking on my door. Knocking on my door, but not coming in. I know how good the Lord has been to me, how much he has provided for me, and how much he wants me to trust him. It's scary and exciting at the same time to be in a situation where that's actually being tested. I'm learning to take risks - for instance on Monday I volunteered to speak for the first time at tonight's Vida Joven club. Only 3 days of preparation to give a talk in Spanish to 70 kids. That is so unlike me! But I'm learning to step out in areas where I have to believe the Lord is going to catch me.

Even in this house hunt I've had to prayerfully follow my gut and say no at times when I wanted to go ahead and settle on a place. It's all about learning how to discern the Lord's nudging. And I want to discern his nudging because I know how much I've screwed things up when I follow my own impulsive desires. I'm trying to balance an attitude of proactivity with Bob Marley's philosophy: "Don't worry about a thing. Every little thing's gonna be alright." And I think it will be, even if things don't go my way. If the same God who put on that light show last night is in charge of my life, I believe I have good things to look forward to.

Vida Joven 5K Fun Run - Sponsorship Options

Mon, 6 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Nicaragua Base News

Adventures in Missions

Special Announcement--Vida Joven 5K Fun Run

April, 2009

ranada welcomed Vida Joven, or Nicaragua's Young Life, in September of last year. The program has been wildly successful, demonstrating that young people here are hungry for wholesome alternatives to drugs, alcohol and life on the streets. El Puente is bursting with kids each Thursday night, and we've expanded the program with additional offerings throughout the week. However, financing the program is not easy. Joe, a member of our Awakening team, suggested we put on a 5K Fun Run in Granada to spread the word and raise support. The city has given its blessing, and we are scheduled to go on April 25th.

As the first event of this sort for all of us, we are looking for ways to make this a success for the kids. AIM has opened a dedicated account in which sponsorship funds may be collected. If you would like to sponsor young people in this race, we'd like to make this account available to you as well. If you'd like to help, we suggest the following sponsorship levels:

Single Sponsorship: $5

Triple Sponsorship: $15

Quintuplets: $25

Ten Youngsters: $50

Of course, you could give more or less, as your budget allows.

All funds collected will go directly to the Granada Vida Joven Club. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. Thanks for your consideration, and for helping these kids step out in faith.

Checks may be mailed to:

Adventures in Missions

6000 Wellspring Trail

Gainesville, GA 30506

Attention: Nicaragua Kids Camp Fun Run

or, Contributions may be made online at:

https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace

Once you are on the web page, you:

1. In the drop down menu select "Support A World Race Project"

2. In the Project box that appears, type in: Nicaragua Kids Camp Fun Run

3. Follow the donation process through.

On the Vida Joven Front...

Mon, 6 Apr 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Vida Joven Club - Student Night!

Things seem to be really taking off for us in Granada on the Vida Joven front. We now have around 80 kids regularly attending our Thursday night club, and many of them are digging even deeper by also attending a Wednesday night Bible Study where we are currently studying the book of John. Additionally, a handful of kids are giving back to the community by working with special needs kids at an establishment called Corazon Contento (Happy Heart).

Elsa, a Vida Joven participant, volunteering at Corazon Contento.

Since February we've had a few highlights: visiting a committee member's farm for a day, traveling to camp (one being a follow-up to our December camp and the other a weekend soccer camp for boys) and finally, inaugurating our weekly club at El Puente with an all out fiesta.

Yelba kissing a fish during our day at the farm.

Our Inaugural Vida Joven Club

The community is starting to catch on that Vida Joven is facilitating the transformation of lives in Granada, but our funds for the year are waning. Vida Joven has existed in Nicaragua for about 20 years and is largely funded by donations from the U.S., but we still have a significant gap to close if the program is to continue in this city.

For this reason, it was the vision of one of our Awakening Team members to hold a 5K Fun Run in Granada in order to raise funds for Vida Joven. If you'd like more information on the race, the following link will direct you to an explanation of the event in addition to sponsorship options: Vida Joven 5K Fun Run - Sponsorship Options

The race will be held on April 25^th and consists of two courses, a 5K and a 2.5K that run throughout Granada. We're hoping that through the race we will not only raise funds, but also raise awareness throughout Granada as to what a wonderful job Vida Joven is doing at reaching at risk kids in this city.

I'll be excited to report back about the success of the race!

And It Will Rain Baby!

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I want to share with you a gift the Lord gave me this week.

In our women's Bible Study (the English-speaking one we have with our FYM team) we're in the middle of a Beth Moore study called Believing God. This is the third Beth Moore I've participated in, and I can't tell you how much there is to be gleaned from this woman's insight and experience.

On Friday, we listened to her speak on one of the core tenets of the study: "Believing God's Word is Alive and Active in You."

We explored the power of the spoken word; the fact that God didn't think creation into being, he spoke it. Because we are made in his image, His words may be omnipotent, but ours are potent. This is why Jesus tells us, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you" (Matt. 17:20-21). With Christ, faith plus words equals endless possibilities.

Later that day I happened to be sitting at a restaurant with some friends. Glancing at the clouds rolling by we pondered how nice it would be if it rained. We are, after all, in the middle of the dry season here in Nicaragua. In response to a scoffing remark to the effect of "sure, like that's actually gonna happen," I retaliated, pointed up at the sky and said with authority, "If we look at that cloud and tell it to rain, it will rain." With that, I stood to go pay for my drink.

It was in this moment right before my eyes the sheet of water droplets began pouring down outside. If my memory serves me correctly, I believe I threw my hands up in the air and shouted, "And it will rain baby!" right there in the middle of the caf.

It didn't rain long, although I spoke with my friend who was an hour away from Granada and a short rainfall had brushed her area as well at the same time.

The sporatic downpour was a gift. And I believe the Lord was affirming me through it saying, "Yes Heather, that is exactly right. You trust in Me to do that and much more."

I don't believe that just because we want something to happen we can just muster it into existence through our words. We are not God and ultimately, whatever happens in nature and in our lives is up to Him. But I believe He is eager to have us participate in His work, and speaking words out of the authority He has placed in us in Christ Jesus shows that we trust in Him to accomplish the thing. If we don't get what we want, it doesn't necessarily mean our faith, or our God, is weak. It means He is in control. And that's why the rain was such a gift. I didn't produce it, He did. All I did was show Him I trusted in Him to do it.

We serve a good God. Oh the beauty of the relationship open to us with Him. It's about mutual delight. "I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God" (Isaiah 61:10). "But you will be called Hephzibah...for the Lord will take delight in you...so will your God rejoice over you" (Isaiah 62:4,5b). Our God delights in delighting us.

Lord, thank you for delighting me! You are so good!

Neither Man nor Beast!

Tue, 3 Feb 2009 00:00:00 GMT

In the past couple of months I've been in two situations that were potentially critical, but thankfully crises averted. The first was in December when I tried to pet a grazing horse that, upon being chastised for snapping at me, lunged forward and bit me around the neck. That's right, the force of his entire jaw wrapped around my throat, pushing me straight to the ground. I was sore for over a month. Have you ever heard of a horse going for the jugular like that? Strangely, in that moment I was able to stand up, dust myself off, skip over the whole, "I need to cry because I'm so shocked" phase and enter directly into the "I'm laughing because I can't believe what just happened" phase. (Okay, I suppose that was after I exited the "scold the chuckling onlookers for not being more concerned" phase.)

Last night, there were no unruly horses around, just an unruly man who happened to be carrying a knife. It was the second time since I've been here in Nicaragua that I've walked out of a situation realizing how strongly the Lord's hand of protection was over me because the outcome could have been so much worse.

My friends Yener, Oneyda and I were walking down the street after a Vida Joven meeting, and I was planning on catching a taxi along the way. All of a sudden, a man appears with a knife, and he starts coming after Yener. The next thing I know, I am holding Oneyda's hand and praying for protection. It's interesting the things that come out of your mouth in times like these (not that I have experienced many times like these) but I kept repeating "Lord you are good, you are good, you are good." He is. Other than Oneyda's hand, that's about all I had to cling to.

I thought we were being robbed and that surely I was going to have to give up my bag, but apparently this man just wanted to hurt someone. He was probably on drugs or just deranged. We were able to walk away unharmed, but another man was rushed to the hospital with a cut to the arm inflicted by our deranged knife carrier.

I tell you this story to let you know that I've had a wake-up call to the dangers lurking in dark corners of this city. I have a renewed appreciation for the Lord's protection over me, and also a renewed concept of the reality that while Granada may look and feel quaint, there is a looming darkness waiting for an opportunity to swallow anyone in its path.

Common sense and self-defense might get us pretty far, but my hope is ultimately in He who is greater than my enemies. Paul says that we are "more than conquerors" (Rom 8:37). Why? Because the maker of the universe just happens to be undeniably and irrevocably in love with us. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom 8:38-39).

It's through His love we get to wake-up another day and breathe. It's through love we even exist. If we had any inkling, any hint of an understanding of the Lord's affections towards us, how would it change our lives? Oh, that I might know more deeply that He loves me, He loves me. Nothing can take that away from us, neither man nor beast. Oh how he loves us!

Facing the Giants

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I'm finally home after a week of Vida Joven training in Jinotega. My friend Oneyda had told me there would be tests, but I'm not sure I really knew what I was in for. It felt like we had all been shipped off to the Christian version of Hogwarts: First-years, second-years, on and on and on, all living on campus together, sitting through class together, eating meals together and talking about which assignments were due the following day and whether there'd be an exam.

It was a beautiful experience in a painful sort of way or maybe vise versa, but either way I felt really stretched in a number of areas, namely having to go through all of it in Spanish.

Even though I've become very comfortable interacting in Spanish with my friends here in Granada, there's something about going to camp and addressing a crowd of 200+ in a foreign language that just makes me shiver. For that reason I have been very reserved in taking any opportunity to do so. In the campamento de nuevos that we brought kids to in December, we watched a movie called "Facing the Giants" which translates to Spanish as "Enfrentando tus temores" which translates back to English as "Facing Your Fears." (I'm sorry. I'm not sure that was necessary.) At any rate, we are trying to encourage and motivate the kids to do just that. Last week was my turn.

I got nudged into doing something last minute that I would not normally volunteer for - Sing in front of the entire camp during our 'talent' show one night. There was only one song I was interested in singing, but I didn't even know all the words nor did we have more than a few minutes to practice. I suppose some things in life you just go for though, so I went for it. It was the first time in 5 camp experiences that I was able to get up in front of the entire crowd, say a few words and then sing a song upon which I had, at most, a shaky grasp. I'm just glad that it was a Christian song so that when I closed my eyes to pretend that all those people weren't there, at least I didn't look like a freak.

The point is, in that moment at least, I didn't let fear stop me from doing something in front of a bunch of people that I love to do anyway. Even though it took an initial shove on the part of my friend Yener, I marched right up on that stage, did my thing, and was really glad when I got to march right off.

I know that the Lord was working on me in some different ways last week, but having to face that giant fear of judgment was definitely one of them. He might not have disappeared completely quite yet, but he's certainly a bit weaker.

I am growing more and more confident that the Lord has some big plans for me in the future, however near or far, and I believe that right now he is taking me through the steps, or pasos as we say here, to prepare me little by little. It's starting small, but this whole "I can't in front of all these people" thing is just gonna have to go...it will go, it is going, right out the door. The Lord is gonna nudge me some more, and next time I'm sure I'll have an even better story of what happens when he does.

Christmas Nica-Style

Sat, 3 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Well I made it through my first Christmas and New Years out of the country, and although I missed my family (especially my adorable nearly year-old nephew Ezra), I was well taken care of by two of many surrogate families I have been blessed to be a part of.

When I came to Nicaragua last May, I told my parents not to expect me home for Christmas. I have visited twice since then (the first trip a joyous celebration at my friend Melissa's wedding and the second a sorrowful time with family when my grandmother passed away.) Come December I decided to stick to my original plan and do Christmas Nica-style.

In May I had no idea that I would be so involved with Young Life and certainly no inclination that by the end of the year we'd be taking kids to camp; but as I have been repeating to myself lately, "My times are in Your hands Lord," and it's so obvious that he had plans for my Christmas time that I never even would have considered 7 months ago.

I had planned to spend Christmas in Nicaragua for my own reasons and much later discovered that we were to leave for Young Life camp the 26th. Who schedules a camp the day after Christmas? I don't know. What I do know is that the Lord intended for me to go and had much in store for me while I was there.

I have been in the process of Young Life (Vida Joven) training since last July, and I think it's actually quite humorous (yet as it should be) that I am one of the only leaders in the whole country that isn't Nicaraguan. It's hard enough as it is trying to fit in with teenagers. Throw in a foreign language and culture, and you're in for a real ride! Nevertheless, I am feeling more and more comfortable in this role, and I'm so happy to be getting to know kids on a deeper level.

When we were at camp, we had some time as a group (leaders plus the 11 kids we brought from Granada) to share some of our life stories. I sat there with my hands over my mouth and tears streaming down my face as our friend Yelba described some of the many disappointments in her life, the least of which included going through birthdays without one single acknowledgment from friends or family.

It was heart-breaking to hear some of these kids reveal their brokenness and yet incredible at the same time to cry with them and pray over them in the midst of their pain. Now that we are back in Granada, Oneyda (the area director's wife), and I have a plan of discipleship in place, and we want to regularly meet with these 6 girls as they continue to figure out what it means to have a relationship with Jesus. In fact, I'm meeting with 3 of them today at 4:00.

Pray with me about how I might be a leader to these kids, especially with respect to communication. Also, tomorrow (the 4th) I leave for camp again for a week of training. This time it will just be leaders, but I still have butterflies! Thanks for all your support and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Margarita with an 'h'

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Last Thursday, my friends Jennifer, Jessica and I were praying about how to spend the morning. In AIM we call this an ATL (Ask the Lord). Following more like a hunch verses blinking lights, the three of us decided to bake something for a lady in the neighborhood. A few things about this situation made it a bit unusual. #1: None of us had ever met her before. #2: The woman is actually from Canada, not Nicaragua. And #3: We had all heard some strange and interesting stories about her which caused us to be slightly hesitant in moving forward with our idea.

To give you a little more background, our friend Mary Beth had befriended this woman some time ago and was present to help her and her husband through a crisis situation. Mary Beth had filled us in on some details and painted a picture of a lady in very poor physical health and spiritually wandering as well. I remember being perplexed upon hearing that the woman claimed a ghost lived in her bedroom and that it had on occasion picked her up out of bed and dropped her on the floor. "What? You say she's a witch? She lives in a haunted house? Well Mary Beth. Good luck with that one..."

Mary Beth and her husband recently left Nicaragua, so this woman has been in the thoughts of many of us who have heard about her. Mary Beth had plowed the soil, and on this particular day, my friends and I decided to move in and see what the Lord might have in store.

When we arrived at her house, I could see inside because the door was partially open. The girls and I had been questioning exactly where she lived, but when I saw her figure standing in the background, I knew right away we must be in the right place. Her light skin, jet black hair and under 90 pound body fit the description we had heard without a doubt. I yelled the typical "bueeeeenas" through the door as we waited with a plate of warm chocolate chip cookies.

Margharita (like the drink she told us, but with an 'h' - it's Italian) welcomed us into her home because it was hot outside on the sidewalk. She was still in her nightgown and you could see that it cloaked her tiny frame underneath. She had a fierce countenance despite her size and a distinct British accent. When we offered her the cookies, she was ecstatic and began eating them as she delved into some of the stories we had heard previously: her husband's failed suicide attempt of jumping off a nearby bridge, the ghost that picked her up and dropped her on the floor, the health problems relating to her weight loss. She talked to us about Mary Beth as well and how she had shared a certain Bible passage about horses. None of us knew exactly what she was referring to, but we realized that she seemed to hold Mary Beth in high regard. Maybe she would be open to us sharing Jesus with her as well.

After spending about an hour with Margharita and meeting some of her cats, admiring the intricate pieces of her Victorian style doll house and seeing her garden decorated with gnomes and fairies, she thanked us 'chicks' for taking the time to come visit her. We let her know that we would be back. She was sure to add that Mary Beth failed to rid her house of the ghost before she left, so we figured that maybe she was indirectly asking for us to look into that for her.

Maragharita is alone in Granada minus her maid, so I am thankful that we felt and followed through with the call to reach out to her. Pray for her and that she would turn from all her spiritual crutches and witchcraft to Jesus, and pray that we would be bold in our actions and speech so that what the Lord started through Mary Beth he may finish through us!

Georgia On My Mind

Fri, 1 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I am back in Georgia for ten days because one of my best friends is getting married next week. I haven't even been here twenty-four hours yet, and I am already soaking in the sights, sounds and smells (or lack thereof) that I have missed for the past two and a half months.

This morning I was sitting in the car as my dad pumped gas into the Excursion at BP. I know, can you believe it? The Excursion. I looked out the window as the cars drove by, and I thought about what a different world I found myself to be in at that moment. How strange for the streets to be filled only with cars. No one trying to sell you cashews or gum or touristy pottery. No one sprawled out on the ground because they're jobless and bored or hungry or complacent. No one calling out, "pretty lady, I love you" or riding by on a bike to slap you need I say where. No school buses leaving behind a thick black trail of exhaust as they transport people packed like sardines from one place to another. Just cars...and the inaccessible people they carried inside.

My dad and I went to my grandmother's house so he could take her car, and I'd have the tank to drive around. As I pulled out of the driveway, maybe I should be ashamed to say that the last thing on my mind was the sheer waste of energy it was for me, little heathercita, to be driving through town alone in this gas guzzler. On the contrary, it was more like this: "Dear, sweet, freedom. Oh how I've missed you." And I did feel free. Free and powerful. But was it real freedom, real power? Whatever it was I liked it, and I was content to be in the driver's seat.

I came home, and after a bit of a nap I decided to put on my tennis shoes along with my old cut-off jeans, and I was off, trekking through the Georgia heat at 12:30 pm. My mother later questioned how I could have walked around on this hot, humid day. To me though, it was bliss.

I walked through the neighborhood and into Stone Mountain Park. I went down my old running trails and was enamored by creation, by the breeze, by the sound of dirt and rocks crunching under my feet. No trash strewn about. No green slime running by a sidewalk towards the lake. Just swaying trees and the sound of wind blowing through their branches.

Even though I'm here, appreciating the freedom to drive, to walk by myself through the woods, something tells me it wouldn't hold me over for very long. It wouldn't be enough for me forever. If I stayed longer, I might grow numb to it. This "freedom" would become ordinary for me. Maybe that's why I appreciate it so much in this moment. I know that I will leave this place and go back to a strange and different world where I won't drive, where I won't have well-maintained nature trails to venture through alone.

But maybe I don't need those things after all. I get the feeling I will only be content in life if I would just dare to be grateful for what I do have (which is actually much more than I realize.) Rob Bell says in his book Sex God that "Until we can center ourselves on what we do have, on what God has given us, on the life we do get to live, we'll constantly be looking for another life." I think I agree.

I appreciate the freedom I have right now to enjoy Georgia, my home away from home, but I don't have to be in the U.S. to experience true freedom. I think the real stuff, the kind of stuff that freedom is actually made of, will come forth no matter where I am when my eyes are opened up to God's blessing in that very moment...even if in that moment I'm inhaling a black cloud of exhaust and stepping into green slime.

There Will Be Beauty

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT

A few months ago I posed the question, "Do I?" Do I trust the Lord with my life, with my possessions, with the circumstances that surround me? My friend Victoria says she often replaces the word "my" with "this" to remind herself that nothing, even life, is really and truly hers. I want to pray that way as well. Lord, help me trust you with this life and these possessions, none of which are actually mine. I did not make them, I cannot sustain them, and as tightly as I hold on, eventually they will wear out, want out or slowly fade away.

After a month in Nicaragua I realized how much I have been holding on to my own plans, expectations and perspective of where I want to be heading in life. I have come to find that it's a dangerous thing to assume you know what is best for yourself or to live in such a way that suggests you have the ultimate authority and final say over what will happen.

I have been walking around this city for the past few weeks feeling like a prisoner, feeling as if I were carrying a ball and chain with me everywhere I went. Have you ever felt that way? It is not an ideal way to live. As Beth Moore points out in one of her Bible studies, "I fear...that we are so often attention-deficit that we settle for bearable when beauty is just around the corner." Upon reading this statement a couple of weeks ago, I immediately knew she was speaking directly to me. Life has been bearable for me in Granada, but I know the Lord wants so much more for me. He wants beauty. Beauty of heart, beauty of mind, beauty in relationships. As a slave to my own plans and expectations, the freedom and beauty I long for will always be "just around the corner."

It wasn't until I began letting go of what I thought should be that things have started to reach their potential of what they could be. This is not an easy process; I doubt it happens overnight. But the peace, freedom and beauty that have been "just around the corner" for a while now are finally showing up in ways I never would have imagined.

Whatever we are grasping becomes our master. We are the slaves, imprisoned by what we are holding and suffocating the thing, and even ourselves, in the process. But if we would dare to follow His lead and open up our hand, He will bring forth beauty. Sometimes we hold on so tightly that the thing becomes infused to us, and the opening of the hand is all the more painful because we feel so deeply connected to whatever it is that must be severed.

Remember that He is the Good Shepherd. We can trust Him with our lives, with the people we love, with the people we don't. We are in His hands and so is everyone else. There is no need to fear letting go. There will be pain, but in the end, if He is the one you are entrusting yourself to, there will be beauty.

Down the Road Less Traveled...

Tue, 3 Jun 2008 00:00:00 GMT

After eight long (but good) months in the States, I have finally made it back to my new home. In fact, I will have been here three weeks on Saturday. As one who doesn't typically handle transitions well, I have certainly seen my fair share of ups and downs these past few days, but thankfully things seem to be on the upswing.

It's funny the things I thought I would miss but don't (like hot showers and pb&j sandwiches.) It turns out I actually can survive a luke-warm shower, and the family I live with keeps their kitchen well-stocked with peanut butter, jelly, and even organic bread. Who would have thought?

After having lived here in Granada for three months already, I figured coming back would be easy (minus the whole showers and sandwiches bit.) I, however, did not realize how different round two would be, and needless to say, the first week was a little rough. I tramped through a bout of intense loneliness and fear, but last Wednesday something clicked, and whatever weight I was trudging around with seemed to drop off, piece by piece. I am so glad for that.

Now that I am not walking through a cloud of emotional chaos, I am free to focus on the tasks that lie before me. Some of these tasks I expected, such as preparing for teams to come and work this summer. We have a medical group coming in two weeks, and my dear friend Hannah will be on this trip!

What I did not expect though, was to be drawn right away to some kids who live in one of the poorest areas of the city. A week ago I encountered a group of twelve and thirteen year old girls at an activity in the barrio. They snickered at the sight of a gringa' in their midst. I saw them a second time at the comedor' (a feeding program providing lunch for children), and after I called them by name you couldn't wipe the smiles off their faces if you tried. It didn't take me long to recognize my desire to invest in these girls (and other children as well), and I am committed to attending this comedor three times a week as I get a feel for what my role might be in their lives.

The road in the picture leads to Santa Rosa, the location of one of two "comedores" in the area and also one of the roughest, poorest places in the city. Here is a road that leads to a place of hostility, a place of physical want, and a place of attention-hungry girls and boys. For me, it is a road leading to uncharted territory as well as one that I do not intend on traveling alone. However, something tells me it is also a road that may lead to one of the core reasons I am here.

By the sheer grace of God, I made it through my first week here without having a complete mental and emotional breakdown. Now it's time to move forward on the road being prepared before me as I press into the One who will carry me and sustain me through whatever it is I may encounter on this journey. In all sincerity, I have only made it this far because He has gotten me here, and I will only move forward because He is walking with me.

Do I?

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Over the past year, I have become quite good at crying on my knees before the Lord. Sometimes it's because I'm lonely. Sometimes it's because I'm discouraged or frustrated. Other times I'm just having to let go of my own plans and expectations. One of those times is right now.

For the past seven months I have been here in Stone Mountain, Georgia, working as a nanny and making my way through the process of joining AIM staff. This process technically began last summer with my experience in Nicaragua, but I took my first official step in the direction of AIM last October.

In January when I started raising support, May seemed eons away. I kept working for my friends, the Beatos, and I watched as their baby boy grew plump little five-month old cheeks. I began pondering when I might quit my job and sell my car, but those events seemed much too distant from the present reality of changing diapers and patty-cake.

Time seemed to be at a standstill, but of course it wasn't, and March came by surprise. Suddenly I was jobless and carless, all in the same week.

Now it's just weeks away from the time I had been hoping to leave all along. Back in October it felt like this point would never come. Now I'm wondering how everything will fall into place so I can just buy that plane ticket. And so I'm brought to my knees, because I must face the reality that these things are not in my hands.

"Trust" is an issue I've had to wrestle with lately, and the ultimate question I must ask myself is "Do I?" Do I trust the Lord is able to do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine? Do I trust that he truly wants to prosper me, not to harm me? Do I trust that he has a perfect plan for me to get to Nicaragua? I think the sobbing on my knees comes because my heart is trying to sort these things out.

So here I am: jobless, carless, and doing everything I can to get myself back to Nicaragua. But I'm having to learn what trust is as well, so even though my head is spinning and my heart is doubting, I will keep bringing myself back to the one who can pick me up, wipe those tears, and get me right back on track to Nicaragua. And I'll just keep praying it's by May.

The Rest of the Story

Tue, 4 Mar 2008 00:00:00 GMT

My sisters and I were raised as faithful attenders of Sunday School and Wednesday night Choir practice in the Episcopal Church. In fact, my mother was the children's choir director. I remember my parents would say prayers with us as they tucked us into bed, but there was not much talk of Jesus in our house. As I grew older, we stopped playing church, and by the time I was in middle school we rarely went as a family. I made it through all those years without being about to say much about Christianity except that "Jesus died for our sins," whatever that meant.

I entered high school as someone with a deep desire to be accepted. I strove to have the right look and the right friends, and socially I was doing pretty well - a stark contrast to my middle school years as an unaccepted social outcast. I could have cared less about seeking God, but he was after my heart and there are a couple of specific events that display his relentless pursuit.

The first happened when I was about 15. My dad was out of town, my sisters were spending the night out, and my mother said she was going to the store. When he was away on business my dad would call to say goodnight, but this particular night I had to tell him mom was out. Hour after hour he would call, but as evening turned to night, she didn't come back. I tried to go to sleep, but I became fearful that something happened to her. What if she was in an accident? What if she was kidnapped? What if she wasn't even alive? Fear overcame me, and I lay in bed sweating as my heart beat so fast I thought it was going to explode. I didn't have anything to cling to.

All of a sudden a wave of peace came over me. My heart slowed down and I felt at ease. I couldn't explain it then, but I know now that it was the peace of Christ. Considering my previous state of panic, Jesus is the only explanation for the sudden change. My mom ended up coming home in the middle of the night. She had been drinking at a bar the whole time. That's when I first realized my family wasn't what it used to be. * As a side note my mother is now doing very well and has been sober for some time. She has and is continuing to overcome, and I am proud of her for that. *

The second moment happened when I was maybe a junior in high school. I was drinking at a party and I went upstairs to use the bathroom. When I was in that room, the only quiet space in the house, I sensed the presence of Jesus with me and I had an overwhelming sense of his love for me. I didn't feel condemnation, only love.

These are just two examples of how the God of the Universe was making himself known to me. I also got to hear of this great love at Young Life where Brian Krawczyk's voice still booms in my ear, "Do you realize that God is CRAZY in love with you?" I didn't realize it. I didn't always feel it. But I wanted to.

Finally, right before my senior year, I begrudgingly decided to go on a mission trip with my friend's church. When I was away that week I had time to ponder my life, and I came to the conclusion that I didn't like the direction I was headed. All that drinking and partying just wasn't doing it for me and I was ready to try something new. I didn't walk down the aisle or pray a prayer, but I decided that when I returned to Georgia I was going to be a new person. I came home and pulled the typical 180 which completely threw off all of my friends. I was determined to live for God, and I began doing everything in my power to be the Christian I saw in other people. I started going to Grace Fellowship Church as a senior and was learning a lot. I trust that the Lord had begun a good work in me, but I was still striving, striving, striving for acceptance, it was just in the Christian circle this time.

When I went away to college the loneliness set in. I was tired of the game I had been playing and my precious, but still very broken, heart longed for more than Bible studies and mission trips. I longed to be held in the arms of the Father, but I didn't know how. All I knew to do was exactly that, do. And it was leaving me completely empty. I hated myself and my constant comparison with the seemingly confident girls around me was just adding to my misery.

When I became a volunteer Young Life Leader, I started spending a lot of time with the area director's wife, Victoria. She saw my sad broken heart through that fake smile of mine, and she held me countless times as I wept and wept and wept. She sat me right in front of that cross, and she waited with me there. It was the first time that I had someone come into my life that was determined to see me know His love. And so I did. I tasted the Lord in a more real way than I ever had before, and it was through this incredible woman.

I wish I could share all the amazing things the the Lord has been doing in my life since that time, but I'm afraid this is already much too long. He has been so good, so patient and so gentle with me as I have learned and continue to learn that I am his little girl. I'm his precious little girl who he holds and protects. There's nothing more important in my life than to rest in that.