Last week when I got sick and my friend “Beloved” prayed for me, she told me she sensed there was an oppressive spirit involved. My stomach was bothering me a lot, and as she prayed for me she sensed the pain I felt as well.
She continued praying for me that night, and the following day she told me of a vision that had come to her mind. In the vision, she saw me walking down the road towards El Puente, and there was a dark spirit on either side of me. They were anchored to my stomach by a stone, and she sensed that I had a choice whether or not the stone was there. As long as the stone was there, the spirits were allowed to be there. (Maybe some of you are thinking “what is all this crazy talk?” That’s fine. It is pretty darn crazy).
Naturally I wanted to know what the stone could be. I thought about it for a couple of hours, and my friend and I identified different possibilities. What I came up with seemed like a lot of stones though, especially things rooted and tied to my childhood. We named and prayed through a number of different things that actually seemed related at some core root. Much of it seemed generational in nature, and as we prayed we broke the binds of these behaviors and attitudes passed down through the generations.
That night I got sick again. I remembered what my friend said about the oppressive spirit, but I also remembered the verse in Zephaniah that said the Lord would deal with all who oppressed me. I asked him to deal with my oppressors.
At 3:30 am, a verse came to my mind – Jeremiah 3:16. I didn’t want to open my Bible. I figured I just made up the reference in my head and didn’t want to bother seeing what it said. When I gave in and read it, the Lord began revealing things right and left. I read through the passage, and the scripture talked about “shameful gods” consuming the Israelites and the Lord pleading with his chosen people to return to him. I realized that I needed to take responsibility for the idols in my family, the things that we have held more dear to us than the Lord. He was asking me to repent of the wrongdoing in my family line because it has become my own personal wrongdoing against him.
Next, Joshua 3:16 came to mind. I wasn’t going to read it. I figured I only thought of if because I read Jeremiah 3:16. Maybe I did, but I think the Lord still used it. (Keep in mind I’ve been running back and forth to the toilet at this point). When I came back to bed and decided to read the verse, I found it actually starts in the middle of a sentence. It says, “the water from upstream stopped flowing.” I took that literally. Oh really Lord? Are you being clever? Well he must have been, because it did. I haven’t been sick since that day.
That was just the beginning though. The passage talked about Israel crossing over the Jordon into the promised land after being in the desert forty years. Once they had crossed the river, they circumcised themselves, reinstating the covenant they had with the Lord their God. They also celebrated the Passover for the first time in forty years, remembering how the Lord had rescued them from Egypt. It was what the Lord said to them there that was the kicker for me. The Israelites named that spot Gilgal. Why? Because it sounds like the Hebrew word for “roll,” and it was here that the Lord said he had “rolled away the reproach of Egypt” from them (Josh. 5:10).
The Lord rolled away the shame of their past. The bondage of slavery no longer had a grip on them, and as they turned to him to be fully his, he permanently lifted the burden of their old identity from their backs.
So many dots were being connected. It seemed as if the Lord was saying “there’s a stone in your life, Heather, that has covered you with shame. But come to me, let me make you mine, and I will roll it away. I have rolled it away.” He has rolled away the shame of my past and made me fully his.
He told me through the scripture I read that night that I belong to him, that he wants me to give myself fully to him, and that he will do (has done) the hard stuff. He rolls away the stone, takes away the shame and carries me to good pasture. All we ever have to do is turn to him, and he will take care of us always.
Awesome and very insightful. I was just talking last night with a missionary to an Arab country about how the Holy Spirit takes the people there through most of their understanding of Christianity. He is really their only guide. It sounds like this with you… the Holy Spirit is directing you to an understanding of His kingdom and living fully alive with Him. I’m excited for you.
On the water stopped flowing bit, it reminded me of a sermon Andrew Shearman gives about this. He calculated it out and found out something pretty interesting. For the water to stop flowing at the point where they crossed the Jordan, it took several hours of standing in the water with a heavy ark of the covenant on their shoulders (I don’t remember how many hours). The waters piled up upstream at Adam, but the water after Adam continued flowing. This water took quite a while to flow past the crossing point. The priests had such great faith that they knew, even after several hours of standing in the water, that the Lord was faithful to do as He promised. And I question if I’ve even heard His voice in the first place.
awesome. good job.